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Changing Relationships

Psychological changes in Women during Perimenopause

A woman's brain undergoes profound changes during perimenopause as hormones shifts. The hormones that tell her “to communicate, to care, to nurture, to avoid conflicts no matter what” are also changing.


By the time a woman reaches menopause, she is far less interested in pleasing others and more interested in pleasing herself.

What does perimenopause mean for the men?

What can the men do?

Let’s say there are unresolved issues in your marriage or relationship causing your wife or partner to feel dissatisfied or unhappy throughout the years.


• Before perimenopause: She manages to suppress, tolerate, overlook and simply live with these things as her hormonal balance conducive for her to do so.

• During perimenopause: Her hormones are shifting and as a result, she is not only willing to confront these issues, but, also may decide that she is no longer willing to tolerate them for the sake of keeping the peace or preserving the marriage.


Perimenopause is likely the time when a woman will be “re-defining and re-evaluating” her life including her husband.

So, if you're thinking that your wife has entered perimenopause and she's not the same woman you married, well, you're right, she's not. The neurobiological changes that occur during perimenopause literally transform her into a new woman.


This is a good time to re-evaluate your own life and ask yourself some hard questions:

• Have you had a tendency to avoid conflict and not solve real issues?

• Have you left things unsaid because you didn’t think it was important?

• Have you given enough consideration to your wife's feelings, needs and wants?

On the other hand, if you feel you haven't done these things and that you've had a good and happy marriage, it still might not be a bad idea to approach your wife to hear her take on it. It could be that she is unhappy, but, is still willing to work through the issues with you.


If you are willing to work things out with her, then in all likelihood, you can be a part of the change positively. While the process might be painful, stressful and difficult, the outcome could be a marriage renewed that can be even more meaningful and happy for the both of you.

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